The Original Social Media Guru June 8, 2009
Posted by Chuck Musciano in Book Reviews, Networking.Tags: Best Of 2009, Book Reviews, Books, Communication, Customer Service, Facebook, LinkedIn, Networking, Relationships, Twitter
7 comments
If you spend any time doing anything on the internet, you will soon stumble across a special kind of expert who is just dying to help you improve your virtual social life. These self-professed Social Media Gurus promise to reveal deep secrets about Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, all designed to garner you more followers, more attention, and more interest on the internet.
Let’s face it: the vast, vast majority of Social Media Gurus know just a teeny bit more than you do about all this stuff. If you really wanted to learn their secrets, ten minutes with Google (or Bing, which is growing on me) will make you a Social Media Guru, too. And if you really want 100,000 followers, or friends, or connections, one mortifying YouTube video should do the trick.
All these social networking tools are just communication tools: conduits for information. You can learn the mechanics of any of them in a day, and absorb most of the culture in a week. But that doesn’t make you any more social, although you may have made a good start at a network.
What matters is what you send over those conduits. The information you share and how you respond to others is what’s important. It’s the content that counts, not the mechanics of the tool.
Most modern Social Media Gurus want to teach you the mechanics. This is not social networking, just like understanding the mechanics of a piano is not going to make you a piano player. Very few Social Media Gurus can teach you what to send using these systems, once you have mastered the mechanics.
Sadly, the very best Social Media Guru died in 1955, before any of these things were invented. Fortunately for us, he wrote down all his secrets well before he passed away. That Guru was Dale Carnegie, and his secrets are revealed in his book, How To Win Friends & Influence People.
If you have never read this book, do yourself a great favor and pick up a copy. For Amazon’s bargain price of $8.70 ($0.96 on your Kindle) you can learn the secrets of the greatest Social Media Guru in history. Carnegie’s book is easy to read, with each concept presented in a short chapter with supporting anecdotes. If even that’s too much for you, he summarizes each chapter with a one-line moral at the end. The anecdotes are delightful, recalling social situations from the 1920′s and 1930′s that are still relevant today.
If you have read this book before, read it again. You will have the same revelations all over again, and be even more committed to changing the way you communicate with people. Carnegie was among the first, and is still the best, Social Media Guru.
I won’t even try to summarize Carnegie’s advice here. Click the link above, buy the book, and start your summer reading with the one book that could truly improve every relationship you have.
Comfort Zones May 22, 2009
Posted by Chuck Musciano in Leadership, Networking.Tags: Best Of 2009, Cliques, Comfort Zones, Networking, Relationships, Teams
2 comments
Last summer, I had the opportunity to watch a group of Boy Scouts go through a high-ropes team building exercise. Beyond the fun of watching boys climb 50 feet in the air with nothing more than a safety rope hooked to their waist, I learned a clever trick about comfort zones.
High-ropes courses are all about getting out of your comfort zone. I am very comfortable on the ground, enjoying the combination of gravity and my feet firmly planted on the earth. Climbing a 40-foot ladder comprised solely of five planks at eight-foot intervals took me way out of my zone, to the point of near-frozen, knee-shaking fear at the top. But I did it, and I’m better for it, if only to avoid embarrassment in front of 13-year-olds who scrambled to the top like monkeys.
There was a more subtle comfort zone that was shattered five minutes into the day. When we arrived, the instructors asked the boys to pair up. As you would expect, they found their best friends and quickly formed twosomes. She then asked them to each assume a character, either SpongeBob or Patrick (remember the audience here). They did so. She then gathered all the SpongeBobs into one group, and all the Patricks into another. One group headed to the ropes course, and the other to another exercise.
In one deft motion she separated every boy from his best friend! For the rest of the day, the boys worked without the comfort of their buddy, opening them to social opportunities they would never have had. They still had fun, accomplished things, and grew a bit. But they did it with a little more risk and became more open to partnering with others throughout the day.
I was so impressed by this trick that I asked the leader about it. She shared that they had choices for any number of groups. Need groups of three? Team them in trios and then ask them to become one of the Three Stooges. Foursomes? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And so forth. They had learned that boys know how to game the “count off” trick, positioning their best friends “n” people away to make sure they stayed together. The character game took them by surprise, before they could figure out how to thwart the leader’s intent.
As adults, we probably won’t be asked to become a cartoon character (I’d pick SpongeBob, FYI). But, boy, do we need to be broken up and moved out of our social comfort zones! How many times do you arrive at a networking event and look for the familiar faces? I’m guilty of this, and I really enjoy working a room and getting to meet new people. For the less gregarious among us, breaking out to meet strangers is a difficult exercise.
How many opportunities do we miss for fear of breaking away from our comfortable friends? There is such value in meeting new people, expanding our horizons, and finding ways to help others. Our reluctance to engage a stranger costs us so much. As adults, we are supposed to know better and not require outside intervention to make us do the right thing. Yet we still revert to old behaviors, rooted deep in our psyches.
We all own this problem. At your next event, acknowledge the familiar faces and turn away to meet the strangers. If your friends chase you down, gently aim them at others as well. You may have to write “SpongeBob” on your name tag to make your point, but it will be worth the effort.
What Are You Putting In? March 27, 2009
Posted by Chuck Musciano in Networking.Tags: Humility, Networking, Twitter
8 comments
In my ongoing effort to convert the entire world to using Twitter, I often get this response:
I tried it for a while, but I didn’t get anything out of it.
Really? I’m so sorry. Tell me, what did you put into it?
Why do so many people come to Twitter with the expectation of getting a huge immediate reward? Do they really expect to create an account and immerse themselves in a flood of useful, pertinent information? Do they really think it could be that easy?
Here’s a novel thought: you get out of Twitter what you put into Twitter. Twitter is about collaborating and sharing, 140 characters at a time. When you come to Twitter, come prepared to share something. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering information. Just something, anything, that someone, somewhere, might want to see.
Did you just finish a project at work? Tweet it. Find a useful resource on the web? Tweet it. Do something nice for your spouse? Tweet it. See a great movie or listen to a great song? Twee—well, you get the idea.
Then, stick with it. It took me months to find and follow a set of people that I found interesting. All the while, I kept tweeting. Twitter is a living, networked version of the Golden Rule: tweet unto others as you would have them tweet unto you.
Here’s a novel approach to getting started with Twitter: expect nothing in return. Engage Twitter with the single goal of providing value and helping every person you can, as best you can, with no expectation of reciprocation. Stick with that approach for a long time. You might be surprised at the results.
If that proves to be a successful approach with Twitter, don’t stop there. You may find that this is a successful approach to your entire life. But don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself.

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