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Bug In Your Ear? October 2, 2009

Posted by Chuck Musciano in Random Musings, Technology.
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11 comments

Let’s set the groundwork for this post: I love gadgets.  Any and all of them.  Any device with a battery and blinking light gets my undivided attention; if it has settings and preferences, I’ll spend hours learning every last mode and option.  I have yet to meet an electronic object I don’t want to know more about.

Groundwork, part two: Although I have strong opinions on shoes and ties, I will never be thought of as a sartorial trend-setter. I enjoy fine clothing and constantly seek advice on how to mix, match, and wear the right shirt and slacks at the same time.  I’ll never learn, mind you, but hope springs eternal.

However, when gadgets and fashion collide, I am compelled to provide some general guidance.  And that brings me to today’s bit of fashion advice for the gadget-lovers in the audience:

Never, never, never wear a Bluetooth headset in public. Ever. Never.

As much as I love gadgets, and as cool as the concept of a wireless headset may be, there is no excuse to have a chunk of plastic stuck in your ear, twenty-four hours a day. Who in their right mind thinks this is a good look?

We have abandoned, with great reluctance, the pocket protector.  The vast majority of people would not consider strapping a calculator to their belt.  Yet an inordinate number of people seem to feel that a Bluetooth headset is a crucial part of their everyday attire.  Apparently, nothing completes an ensemble of sweatpants, tank top, and flip-flops better than a glowing thing stuck to your head.

Consider the person behind me in line at the deli counter, waiting to get sliced luncheon meat.  What crucial call do they expect to arrive while they are otherwise occupied with the details of turkey and cheese?  What call could be so urgent that the time it takes to get the phone from pocket to ear could make a difference?  A massive stock trade? Providing a nuclear launch code? Advice to a befuddled brain surgeon?  I can’t imagine, but that blinking blue light on the side of their head certainly tells me that they are much more important than the rest of us.

There is one exception to this rule.  I do use a Bluetooth headset while driving, but only when driving alone, and only in my right ear so it is not visible from the road.  My driving skills are such that the headset significantly improves my chances of arriving at my destination in one piece.  But when I do arrive, the headset comes off before I exit the car.

I suspect a lot of people think that these headsets look cutting edge, and tell the world that you are technologically savvy.  Well, they do prove that you can master pairing a headset with your phone, but other than that, you look like a dork.  I can say this with confidence, because I mastered that look long ago.

Dressing For Success January 11, 2008

Posted by Chuck Musciano in Random Musings.
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3 comments

Obviously inspired by my recent posting on tying your tie, the Wall Street Journal has a good article on dressing correctly for job interviews and for work in general. Among the advice that they share, and with which I agree:

  • Iron your shirts. Better yet, have then dry-cleaned and starched.
  • Press your pants.
  • Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

And my personal favorite:

  • Wear good shoes.

Amen. For men, especially, who only need six or so pairs of dress shoes, invest in very good shoes (I like Johnston & Murphy) and maintain them. That means getting them shined regularly, and having them resoled as needed.

I like to get my shoes shined whenever I have a layover in an airport. Airport shine stands give better, longer-lasting shines than almost anywhere else. Plus, it is fun to sit in the big chair, high above the streaming masses, and watch the people go by. The best shine stand in the US is in the St Louis airport. Second best was a guy who was giving free shines at the Microsoft CIO Summit last May. Never miss an opportunity to shine your shoes, and tip well. You’ll look better and feel better.

Update: more than a year later, the Journal is still reporting on shoes, this time focusing on how the recession is helping cobblers.  Buy good shoes and keep them shined!

Ties In Iowa January 4, 2008

Posted by Chuck Musciano in Random Musings.
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I was appalled by what I saw in Iowa last night.

Not the political stuff. There’ll be plenty of time for appalled reactions throughout the year.

I was greatly disturbed by the terrible neckties worn by the various news reporters. Specifically, I was really bothered by how poorly and sloppily their ties were tied.

I like wearing ties. I wear one to work every day, and to church on Sunday. I think they are a sign of civilized dress, and I am saddened by a society that is shifting away from the tie. Every man looks better in a tie (and accompanying shirt, matching pants, and usually a sport or suit coat).

Unfortunately, very few men tie a tie correctly or wear it correctly. To correct this, and make my small contribution to civilized society, I present my tie tips:

  • Button your shirt! Nothing looks worse than an unbuttoned collar behind a tie, well-tied or not. If the shirt collar is too tight, move the button or get a different shirt.
  • Use a symmetrical knot for your tie. Most men only learn how to tie a four-in-hand knot, which is horribly unbalanced. A well-tied tie has a perfect triangle at the top, not some lopsided knot.
  • Get the knot size right. Some men still tie full Windsor knots, which produces a knot the size of your fist and usually results in a very short tie. Switch to a smaller knot (like the Shelby, which I prefer, or the half-windsor). Giant knots jammed up under your chin look awful.
  • Get the length right. Ties that are too long or too short are only appropriate on circus clowns. The tip of the tie should fall somewhere within your belt buckle. You shouldn’t see any shirt between the end of your tie and your belt, nor should you see any tie extending below your belt. You may have to untie and retie your tie to get it just right; adjusting your pants slightly can achieve the same results in a pinch.
  • Snug the tie up. Just like the button should be buttoned, the tie should be snug against the collar. No space between the tie and the collar allowed, and no space between the ends of the knot and the edges of the collar. I tend to avoid really wide spread collars for this reason.
  • Center the knot. Over the day, your knot will drift to one side or the other. Take a moment to tighten the knot, snug it up, and center it in your collar. You’ll look better and we’ll all be thankful.
  • One exception to all this: at the end of a long day, when all formal activities are finished, you may loosen your tie and unbutton your collar. The idea here is to look like you have intentionally loosened and unbuttoned things, not that you run around like this by accident.

There you have it: sartorial splendor in just a few easy steps. You’re welcome.

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